Yesterday, Matt and I celebrated five years of marriage.
Except, maybe 'celebrate' isn't the right word... This is how I do our anniversary, parent style:
A week before, try and decide what to do.
Fancy a curry?
Or maybe the pub?
Oh wait, can we afford it?
Can we be bothered?
But wait, a great friend has offered to babysit for free!
Shall we go to the pub then...
On the day, just about remember to wish each other a Happy Anniversary whilst wrestling Ollie into his clothes, finding clothes for Lily in the piles of washing and getting ready for work.
Get to work and be distracted all day by the lovely Facebook comments on your anniversary announcement, temporary profile picture and cover photo.
Nip out at lunchtime, in the thunder and torrential rain, to grab an anniversary card.
Stop yourself from crying on spotting Matt's Facebook status.
Develop a headache at about 10:00 that gets worse all day until in the end you give up at 4:20 and head home.
At which point Matt announces that he can pick you up because he had booked the day off work 'to clean the house' as a surprise.
Call your Mum to tell her that Matt has cleaned the house! Best anniversary gift ever! Fact.
Give him his card and packet of chocolate cookies (not the best anniversary gift ever) which he then has to share with the kids.
Get home and realise that Matt's idea of cleaning the house is actually cleaning and tidying downstairs. Still pretty amazing to be honest.
Go and lie down. Get up to help with bath time. Throw up, which admittedly, does help the headache a bit.
Once the kids are in bed, retire to the living room and eat takeaway curry whilst sat on the floor watching The Scorch Trials.
Do you know what's happening?
Can you remember what happened in the last film?
Let's look it up on Google to remind ourselves.
Decide at 9:30 that you're both really bored and tired and head to bed.
Have amazing sex. HAHAHA. Just kidding. Within minutes you're both snoring away, only to be woken at 11:00 by Ollie. Then 1:00 by Lily who thinks it is time to read the Enchanted Wood.
Give in and let Lily sleep in the bed between you, along with her giant 'owl' cuddly toy (it's a penguin) until...
Ollie wakes at 3:00. Get up and attempt to get him to sleep, then put him down in his cot where his eyes automatically snap open and he spots you sneaking from the room.
Pick him up and whisper to Matt to move Lily back to her bed so that Ollie can sleep in with you.
Finally, get everyone quietly back to sleep. Reach across a snoring Ollie and take Matt's hand.
"I love you Matt"
"I love you too"
And fall asleep.